[closed] forget the reckless things we've done

[timelike]

Who: Dave Strider & John Egbert
When: October 5th, midday
Where: Rose District, Unit Six
What: Best bros reuniting and also kind of meeting for the first time
Warnings: some swearing probably; anything else will be added if it occurs


Dave shuffles along, scarcely noticing the heavy rain that's falling on him and soaking through his strange new clothing. His pants lack pockets to shove his hands into as is his habit, so he crosses his arms over his chest rather than let them hang at his sides.

If asked what he was feeling in this moment (if--unlikely--he chose to answer such a question) he'd have trouble describing it. It's not really happiness--though why shouldn't he be happy? Relief, maybe, a release of tension. But even as one kind of tension drains out of him, another is taking its place. Nervous energy fills his body, making him feel like he's about to come out of his skin. He makes a conscious effort to relax, to keep his cool, to relax his face and body into its accustomed, unreadable state.

He reaches the door to Unit Six too quickly. Standing before the door, he raises a fist, hesitates, then knocks.

Even his knock is casual.

Comments

[hammerkind]

John is springing up from his seat on the couch and opening the door the instant he hears the knock. There is a lot going on in his head-- nervousness, worry-- and none of it is very good.

But the second he sees Dave. The moment he actually sees him... John can't help but to break out into a major grin, stepping aside so he can get inside. "Are you a moron, Dave? No, you do not need to answer that. Because I know you are. You walked in the rain. Without an umbrella. You are dumb dumb dumb."

[timelike]

Wow. Dave didn't know it was even possible for a human being to smile that big. The teeth just make it even more ridiculous. His facial muscles tic almost imperceptibly as he represses an instinctive answering smile.

"I haven't got an umbrella, dude. I pretty much just got here. Haven't exactly had time to go shopping."

He wants to hug John, so much that his hands are twitching at his sides, but cool kids don't initiate hugs. Cool kids receive hugs and stand there casually, and maybe sometimes return them briefly, if it's their best bro doing the hugging. So he does not hug John.

[hammerkind]

John doesn't hug Dave, not yet-- even though he wants to. He laughs, rubbing his nose, and continues to smile. "Just wait up a second. I'll grab you some towels." And he's bounding over to the closet beside the bathroom, taking the towels and unceremoniously pushing them into Dave's hands. "I don't care if you drip water all over the place, just don't get sick. Do you want like. A change of clothes or something. It is weird clothes but it's better than being wet and cold."

[timelike]

Dave takes a towel and rubs at his hair with it, but doesn't even bother with the rest of his body--his leather clothing has soaked up massive amounts of rainwater and doesn't seem to want to let go of it. He's suddenly aware of being chilled to the bone. He looks down at what he's wearing, and then at what John's wearing.

"I'm already wearing 'weird clothes', dude. Just hand 'em over, I feel like a Stider popsicle."

[hammerkind]

"Hehehe, yeah." John dashes off and grabs clothes for Dave and pushes him into the bathroom, flopping on the couch while he waits. He's nervous, he realizes, really really fucking nervous. Anxious to the point where his hands shake a little bit, just a small amount.

He's finally meeting Dave in person and he's so glad for it.

But. There's some sadness mixed into his emotions as well. He didn't get to meet him before he died. He wonders how Rose and Dave and Jade figured out he was gone, and he wonders if maybe someone fell into his land in order to do that. He hopes no one found him that way and they just assumed him dead.

And more pressing than that thought is the one of what Dave did after that.

He should ask about it, he thinks, but he doesn't really want to.

[timelike]

Dave peels off the soaked clothing and piles it in the corner. He towels off, then dresses in the dry clothes, deliberately taking as long as possible.

These aren't exactly the circumstances under which he used to imagine meeting John for the first time. The tension still hasn't left his body, and he shakes himself, trying to let some of it off. It doesn't help. He stares at the door for a minute, then opens it and comes back out.

He snaps his fingers in front of John's face. "John. Dude. Looking a little lost in thought there."

[hammerkind]

"Oh, huh? Hi, Dave. Sorry."

John sits proper and then just comes to his feet. He's embarrassed, and... yeah, fuck it. He'll just embarrass himself a little more: he reaches out and pulls Dave down onto the couch next to him, slinging an arm around his shoulders. It's his attempt at a hug that isn't totally awkward, and he releases him after a brief squeeze.

He grins over at Dave. Instead of asking what's on his mind, he'll fuck around a bit more. "We are finally meeting and there aren't even any video games for me to kick your ass at! That is just wrong."

[timelike]

Dave mentally stutters a bit as he's yanked down onto the couch and into a hug. John pretty much failed at not being awkward, but awkward is about what Dave was expecting. He blinks, regaining equilibrium, and is suddenly, painfully aware of the absence of his shades. It seems particularly cruel to him that he's been divested of his shield at the time when he most needs it.

He allows one corner of his mouth to quirk upward and shoves affectionately at John's shoulder. "Yeah, right, Egbert," he scoffs. "You couldn't kick my ass in a million years."

[hammerkind]

John doesn't notice. He doesn't actually know that Dave wears them absolutely nonstop, so it's fine. But he's a little startled by the vividness of his eyes' color when he actually looks.

But the smile is more distracting, and John's own smile grows. "You are smiling," he says. "I really could, Dave. You are good at them but I am also good!"

[timelike]

Instantly self-conscious, Dave returns to poker face. "You couldn't even beat me at Mario Kart, Egbert."

[hammerkind]

John knows why he stopped smiling, but he couldn't help but to remark on it-- it's just kind of funny, kind of nice. He'd always imagined Dave as the stoic type, so seeing proof that he's wrong about that is pretty cool. Cooler than Dave, anyways, not that John thinks that is very hard.

"Yes I could," he insists. "I would kick your ass out the door at Mario Kart."

[timelike]

Dave raises a single, eloquent eyebrow. He could write soliloquies with that eyebrow. That eyebrow is practically Shakespeare.

"In your dreams, bro. You'd be begging me for mercy within five minutes."

[hammerkind]

John rolls his eyes. "Whatever, Dave! You know, there are more important things to talk about." He hesitates, meaning to bring the topic to something lighthearted. But the less optimistic things slip into his mind. After an awkward pause, he speaks up again. "... Like. After I died, what did you do?"

[timelike]

That's not really a question Dave cares to answer. After John's death, most of his mental and emotional energy was focused on the time when he'd be able to go back and change it. That hope was pretty much all that kept him going through almost a year of waiting. Fuck if he's telling John that.

"Not much to tell. Lot of waiting around. It was pretty boring, dude, I don't think you want to hear about it."

[hammerkind]

"Waiting around?" He looks at Dave pointedly, goofy grin all gone. "Dude, you were supposed to go back and fix stuff. That was like, the whole point of dying."

[timelike]

"No, the point of dying was your troll friend playing a stupid fucking prank," Dave snaps, more irritation coming through in his voice than he would like. "Anyway, that's what we were waiting for. We were trying to get as much information out of that timeline as possible before I went back."

[hammerkind]

"Oh," John says it slowly. Yeah, that makes sense. And Dave's tone stuns him into silence. He's not sure he should elaborate on what he means-- that Typheus talked to him, that he chose to die-- and suddenly feels like shit. Slowly: "So you were getting information. ... Does that mean you did go back?"

[timelike]

This is getting into sensitive territory. The pain of realizing that his chance was gone, that John was dead for good and there was nothing he could do about it, is still fresh in Dave's memory. He shifts uncomfortably, but his face remains blank and unreadable. "Nah. Got yanked here before I could."

[hammerkind]

"Well, uh, I suppose. That it doesn't really matter anymore." He tries to smile, and it comes out lopsided, shifting uncomfortably. He thinks of what it was like to die, even if he thought he'd been prepared for it, and wonders what it might have been like to live on after he died. They're good friends. It must have sucked for Dave, and for Rose, and for Jade. "Since we are both here."

[timelike]

"Sucked" is one word for it. Dave has a lot of other words for it, ones he won't be sharing with John, or anyone else. "Yeah," Dave says, relieved to be moving on. "It doesn't matter."

[hammerkind]

John looks Dave over for a good moment: he wonders what he's thinking about, but the tense way he talks... he feels like shit even more and so awkwardly laughs, all the while wondering what's funny.

"You know," he says, and even he doesn't know. He wants to fill the silence and to confess why he feels so spectacularly bad. "My boss monster talked to me. Before he killed me, I mean. ... It was weird? And kind of blurry now that it's over. But the guy isn't so terrible. He told me lots of stuff, but... mostly. The fact that the timeline was doomed. So I kind of, uh. You're not gonna like it, but..."

John trails off.

[timelike]

Dave can see where this is going and he doesn't like it one bit. He can feel his chest constricting and wishes desperately for his shades, for anything to hide behind so John won't see what he's feeling.

"Oh, Jesus, Egbert, no you did not."

[hammerkind]

John sees Dave's face change-- the subtle shift of it-- and he looks away immediately. He rubs the back of his head and nods. "Yeah, you. Probably guessed it! He said that. You'd probably actually have a reason to go back in time to fix things if I died." His mouth feels dry, but he looks back to Dave anyways. Slowly: "So I died."

[timelike]

Dave opens his mouth to speak, then shuts it, opens it again, shuts it again. What does he even say to that? He wants to hit John, wants to hug him, wants to shout at him, wants to hold him and never let go. He wonders if John even thought about how it would feel for his friends to learn of his death, if he considered that there would be consequences for his actions beyond forcing a reset. Probably not, at least not until now. That's just how John is.

Finally, he manages to speak. "Fuck, John. Fuck. You couldn't think of a better way? Like, shit, I don't know, talking to me about it?" He's not even bothering to keep his tone flat anymore.

[hammerkind]

He winces at his tone, and tries to keep his own from getting defensive. Because even John knows that's not how to talk to Dave right now. It's true that he hadn't considered it. He's only just now starting to. He's not sure on the exact reasoning.

"That wouldn't have worked." He swings his feet. "Because you're you, you need an actual reason. Though I feel like shit for putting you through that. Don't get me wrong there. And also... what happens to people after you turn back time? I don't know. Typheus said it was basically just. You stop existing. Bam, you're gone, and you don't even know it. ... I didn't want that."

[timelike]

Dave sees the wince, and almost feels guilty--but no, dammit, he has a right to be angry. What the fuck. What the fuck. His chest hurts. He knows John can't help being kind of an idiot, but still, it stings to realize that Dave's own feelings probably didn't even enter into John's decision.

"Yeah, and dying is so much better," he snaps. "Christ, I oughtta beat the shit out of you."

[hammerkind]

"It seemed better at the time," he says, voice raising a notch. John stops himself and crosses his arms, looking down at his feet. When he speaks again his voice is quiet: "Both are terrifying, and I am pretty sure I would have liked to fade away better than that! Dying hurts a lot. But I went with the one way I might actually be useful. It's not like I was totally gung-ho about it or doing it because I wanted to upset you guys. It was the right thing to do, dude, even if it sucked for everyone."

And he pauses again, obviously about to say something but thinking of how to phrase it. Typheus told him a lot.

"Okay, I'm not gonna pretend to get the time stuff, that's your thing. But like. If I talked to you and I was like, dude, you gotta travel back and fix this timeline... would you really have done it? Like. Wouldn't that just erase us or something, and make you the only doomed one? You play it up a lot. You act like nothing phases you and you are oh mister tough guy. But you know. That's the main reason I did it. It wouldn't have worked to just talk to you, you needed a reason. You're the only one who can fix it so we can win, and I think you wouldn't be able to erase us."

[timelike]

All the anger drains out of Dave at that, leaving behind only sadness that nearly chokes him. He swallows convulsively.

"Well I. I guess you're right," he says quietly. It's difficult to admit, even to himself. "It's just... it's not fair, dude." Finally he can't stand feeling so exposed anymore. He bows his head and puts his head in his hands, fingers covering his face.

[hammerkind]

John doesn't say anything-- he just watches Dave, then looks away. And a beat after that, silently he sits a bit closer. John pulls him into a hug. It's awkwardly positioned, but he's fine with that.

"... Yeah. Sorry."

[timelike]

Dave is surprised at first, but once his thoughts adjust he's returning the hug, as tightly as he can. Fuck being cool. John is here and he's warm and he's alive and Dave can feel him breathing, it's really real. He digs his fingers into John's shoulderblades.

"Don't worry about it," he mumbles into the other boy's shoulder.

[hammerkind]

John's also surprised. He isn't expecting the hug to be returned. But he lets him linger in silence, rubbing his shoulders in attempts to soothe. He doesn't smile, but he's glad Dave isn't angry.

After a little while, tone lighter: "Hey, Dave. You are clawing me up!"

[timelike]

Dave blinks. "Huh? Oh, sorry." He relaxes his hands and pats John's back awkwardly. Every touch drains a little of the tension that's built up in him. It leaves him feeling a little shaky.

[hammerkind]

He pulls back and laughs. "You are like a koala bear," he says. "Or something else that is clingy."

[timelike]

Dave flushes. "Dude, what are you even talking about. I am the least clingy."

[hammerkind]

"Dude, you were hugging me for like five minutes straight," he replies, grinning. He definitely sees that flush.

[timelike]

Dave heaves an exaggerated sigh. "No, dude," he says, in a tone that suggests he is explaining something complex to a small child, "you were hugging me for that long. I was just indulging your needy ass because I felt sorry for you."

[hammerkind]

"Wow," John says, rolling his eyes. "You are such a shitty liar!"

[timelike]

"Your face is a shitty liar," Dave shoots back.

Master of the clever comeback.

[hammerkind]

"So that was ironic, right." John is laughing now. "An ironic comeback. It is unusually shitty for you."

[timelike]

Sure, he'll go with that. Half the time irony is just his excuse to do or like things he wouldn't otherwise be able to get away with and still call himself cool. "Yeah, fuck, of course it was. Frankly, it's insulting that you'd even ask me that."